Good and Hard at the Same Time

 (or click here if you prefer to listen)
 
“Joy is resting in God’s definition of good.” Pastor Davis Moore, Corner Bible Church
 
Hugging the warm mug, I headed to the table. It was Friday and time for my monthly coffee date with one of my favorite friends. In our empty nest years, our lives were bustling with ministry, work, appointments, and grandkids. We hesitated to call our lives “busy”, referring to them as “full” instead. First thing in the morning worked best for us to meet before our tasks sent us north, south, east, and west.
 
Life was good! We had vibrant relationships with the Lord. Awesome husbands who loved God as much as we did. Children and grandchildren. We were healthy, financially stable, and passionately involved with ministries that we loved.
 
It was always great to catch up.
 
After the initial, “How are you?” and “Good!” or “Great!” responses. We got to the meat of our conversation.
 
For six months or so she’d been going through a rough season. What some would call a dark night of the soul. Normally upbeat, springing out of bed when the alarm goes off with new energy and joy for the day, she’d been waking up with heaviness like a weight on her chest.  Immediately going to the Lord in prayer, she asked for His help. Then turned to the bible, worship music, or journaling.
 
She’d been taking care of her mom’s increasing medical needs, pastoral ministry with her husband, and helping with the grands.
 
All things she loved and knew God had called her to.  And yet, this battle of heaviness she didn’t understand. Right on the other side of the joy and fulfillment. 
 
Life was good and yet hard at the same time.
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It was five days before the Spring Retreat two other Spiritual Directors, and I had been planning for six months. 25 people were signed up. We had a fabulous plan in place and were so excited.
 
My husband had been battling the flu going around for the past 3 weeks. Doing whatever I could to escape it, I’d been taking Vitamin C, washing my hands, and getting my sleep. Then, an unfamiliar tickle in my throat, and achiness in my joints. Monday morning, with the retreat just a few days away, it hit me too.
 
God had been growing me through the process of putting this retreat together. There were clear and definite areas he had been stretching me. Praying that first day of the flu, I felt the Spirit whispering for me to keep my eyes on Him, call my close family members and friends to ask them to pray for my healing, and watch day-by-day what would unfold. I wasn’t to cancel until Friday morning when I either woke up healed or too weak to go.
 
He was leading me in more steps of trust and freedom from perfectionism where he’d been working to deliver me for years.  Sick, there was no way I could over-prepare. I would have spent all week fussing over my teaching, and the rest of the details. Instead, he used this sickness to make it so I couldn’t.
 
I knew every minute of that challenging week that He was working. I could feel His presence around me as I lay in bed. I knew even in the sickness that I was in the center of His will.
 
It was good and yet hard at the same time.
 
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Beginning our summer study of Philippians, known as the “Epistle of Joy” this week at church, the whole sermon, centered on the first two verses of Chapter One.
 
“Paul and Timothy, bondservants of Christ Jesus to all the saints. Grace and peace to you from God our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ.”
 
Paul had been beaten to the point of death, whipped, stoned, and shipwrecked three times, “on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, robbers, danger from his own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city and wilderness, sleepless, often without food, in cold and exposure.” 2 Cor 11 ESV
 
When he wrote Philippians and many other New Testament letters, he was in prison unjustly and would shortly be condemned to death and beheaded for his belief in Christ.
 
And yet somehow, the words that came from deep down in his spirit were words of true joy. 
 
He knew the living God, had a moment-by-moment relationship with Him, and was walking the path God had ordained for him since the beginning of time.   
 
Was his life a bed of roses? Was it easy and successful? Did he have everything at that moment that he wanted?  No. I’m sure he would have wanted his freedom. I’m sure more clothes and food would have made him more comfortable. More companions would have lightened the loneliness we can imagine he must have felt.
 
He was perfectly in the center of God’s will and yet suffering.
 
When our lives look similar, we know we are in good company. Life, both good and hard at the same time.
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Have you ever had a time you would say was both good and hard? Are you going through a time like that right now?