Where is your Wardrobe?
written by Lori Melton - April 15, 2020
Do you listen when your gut tells you your soul is drying up?
When life has been overflowing with people & activity & you know you are getting exhausted?
Too long since you have gotten your normal spaces to breathe and you’re starting to gasp for air?
Listen to the pain. We have been taught to keep pressing through; not able to justify time needed to fill our soul. So few seem to do it, we are tempted to feel guilty if we do, as if we’re not pulling our weight or working hard enough.
I cannot answer for anyone else but I can choose whether I will pay attention when my spirit is poking my ribs. I can celebrate becoming more like Jesus as I slip away to my everyday “secret places” where no one can find me.
We’re all going through this international “pandemic”. Our lives have shifted. Some of the shifting feels good, other parts challenging. Each of us juggling underlying stress as our nation and all the countries of the world have been called to attention.
Our house has been “full” these weeks. The “pandemic” has brought our kids back home as the only safe place they are allowed to come; some staying with us from out of state and others coming on the weekends. Embracing this unexpected opportunity, we want to remain fluid; open to whoever may be coming for dinner.
Evenings, which usually in our “empty nest” mode of life, are mostly quiet, have become dinner, games & stimulating conversation many nights; rich family time & memories shared. Yet, not a time for just my husband & I, like our 50+ year old bodies have grown accustomed to. Only a blank stare in each other’s direction when we fall into bed. Challenging, and yet knowing this is a unique opportunity for time with those we love, we wouldn’t want it any other way
But after a bustling weekend of laughter, games, conversation & food, I woke Monday morning body, soul & spirit feeling like mush. My soul was getting louder in it’s calling out with an added “whining” tone to it. I knew I needed to refill myself. I needed time with God in quiet & stillness.
All businesses closed because of the international crisis; couldn’t go to a coffee shop or retreat center. All my normal crevices were occupied. I needed a “secret place” to retreat to, but where? Then I remembered the room of one of our guests who had left for the day. Ah, could that be it?
Like the wardrobe in the Lion, Witch and Wardrobe tale; an ordinary piece of furniture tromped by without notice day after day. Little did the children know what was right under their noses. Only when they looked closer, cracking open the door & pushing the clothes aside, did light, color & sunshine spill out inviting them to a glorious place!
We had breakfast & I told everyone I would be disappearing. I grabbed books, coffee, candle, & food & went down to that room. Exuberantly shutting the door the first raindrops for my soul began to fall. Losing all concern for what happened outside the door, a place of refreshment was waiting for me!
Endeavoring to become more like Jesus, I want to be more like him in this; following the examples like in Luke 5:15, “But Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray.” I can picture the disciples rising in the morning, looking around and he was gone, again! He HAD to have time with his Father to fill his soul! My heart cries out, “Me too!”
Are you feeling the same way?
I don’t know what your situation is. Maybe yours is a houseful of rambunctious children off from school because of the pandemic until who knows when. Maybe you have a ministry or occupation that requires much. But I know this:
We don’t have to live this way!
I wonder, Where is there a “wardrobe” you may be tromping by in your everyday surroundings that could take you to a “Narnia” of your own if you cracked the door and stepped in?