Is it a Lack of Faith to be Sad?
Is it a lack of faith to be sad?
She didn’t ask to get breast cancer so young. A picture of health in the prime of her life, her diagnosis was a complete shock. But, she faced it like a champ! With a deep relationship with God, she immediately took his hand, letting Him wrap her in his love and lead her every step. Putting on the full armor of God, he equipped her with strength and faith. Through chemo, sick days and losing her hair she kept her eyes on Jesus and beat it, letting us walk with her through her social media posts. We all celebrated on her one-year anniversary!
Then, there was a day, when her post was a little different. After vigilantly keeping her guard up through the heat of the battle, suddenly, the loss and sadness had the space to emerge. She shared, not words of scripture and victory but of her tears and sadness and asked if that was ok, too.
Does it mean her faith isn’t as strong when she expresses her sorrow?
Sitting in small group one night, one of the guys who is usually chipper, was quiet. When there was a moment, he shared his struggle at work. The atmosphere was extremely difficult and the people toxic. He was at the end of his rope and questioned how long he could keep enduring it. It was an agonizingly, tough spot.
It was quiet for a minute or so when another person in our group, trying to encourage him spoke, saying things like, “Aren’t you glad in times like this you have the Spirit of God to help you get through it?” And, “We sure can take comfort in God’s word in times like this. You know he is working all things together for good.” Blah, blah, blah, “Scripture says,” this and, “Scripture says,” that. We’ve all done it.
I wanted to scream. It felt as if instead of being encouraged, he was shamed. It seemed like a lesson to the rest of us, never to express anything but words of strength. Don’t ever say you’re feeling weighed down with cares, sadness, frustration, disappointment, or anger.
Would it have been ok for me to share my disappointment hearing back from the publisher I really hoped would offer me a contract for my book, that it was a, “No”? To admit that I had any preference or ambition? To hover for more than 30 seconds in sharing my sadness without an immediate “faith” conjunction that, “I know God is working all things together for good. Hallelujah!”
Is there room in our theology for us to take a minute in our pain and share our honest feelings not our scripted ones?
Didn’t Jesus say to weep with those who weep? Dance with those who dance?
We’ve been enjoying The Chosen series. In a recent episode, Eden, Peter’s wife, went to see the Rabbi in her mourning after she miscarried. She took her mother with her. After the Rabbi comforted and counseled her, they asked for a reading of Scripture. When the Rabbi asked Eden if she had something in mind. Her mother responded, “Something uplifting perhaps.”
The Rabbi, looking over at Eden in her sorrow said, “I’m not sure that’s what Eden most needs right now.” And instead, read her a Psalm of Lament. With eyes closed in prayer, she listened as David poured out his pain in the first half of the Psalm, with tears slipping down her cheeks.
Then the Rabbi paused and said, “But that’s not where it ends, does it?”
Shaking her head, “No”. He continued and David words turned from lament to words of hope and strength in God’s faithfulness.
Sometimes we just need space to lament before we can turn our hearts again to hope. Could we make room to be honest ourselves and welcome each other to express all of our feelings? God isn’t afraid of our sadness or disappointment.
Our faith can be just as strong in our words of lament as it is in our words of victory.
~ Lori
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Question: Do you feel you can be honest about your pain in your times alone with God and in your community of believers?
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P.S. He has been so faithful on my publishing journey. He is never far away in our times of disappointment and sorrow and before we know it His light is shining in fresh ways on our path. He has done that, again, for me.
Stay tuned … update coming soon!