5, 4,3, 2,1- Forgive
“I appeal to you Euodia and Syntyche. Please, because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreement.” Phil 4:2
You never know how God is going to answer your prayers.
A few months ago, a little book came into my life with a strategy for doing important things we resist. Needing to move on your first impulse before your brain talks you out of it, Mel Robbins, the author of The 5 Second Rule discovered a powerful principle wrapped up in the image of a rocket launch. Stuck in a horrible place in her own life, hearing the countdown, “5,4,3,2,1 liftoff!”, as the rocket took off from the launch pad changed her life. Starting with getting out of bed instead of hitting snooze, making her late, and sloppy all day long, when she heard the morning buzz, she said aloud, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1” and put her feet on the floor. As she applied the same practice to other areas of her life, everything changed.
I was about to learn how that principle applies not only to our physical but our relational and spiritual lives as well.
I was walking into church, minding my own business. It was a beautiful Sunday morning. I was feeling good, happy, and totally at ease. Clueless about the challenge the Lord was about to drop in my lap. I don’t like getting into a rut with where I sit each Sunday. So, instead of our usual spot in the center, I noticed an open seat way up on the left side. Perfect.
Setting down my coffee and bible I settled into my chair and then enjoyed the worship service. The next part was our monthly communion. Different couples from our leadership team, rotate leading communion. It was Jason and Cindy’s turn to share a few thoughts from scripture before we partook of the bread and juice.
The passage they talked about came from Matthew 5. One of the most important chapters of the Bible where Jesus delivers the famous Beatitudes flipping the entire religious and non-religious communities on their head with a picture of true religion unlike anything they had heard before. Bringing religion away from pious “thee’s” and “thou’s”, Jesus spoke about real-life issues. Not swinging incense and religious rites led by the rabbi up front in the temple off in the distance but practical things like being just, good, and humble in our everyday lives.
Then tackling God’s commandment way back in Exodus, forbidding murder he taught that it isn’t just those who literally take someone’s life who are guilty in God’s eyes, but even those who think hateful thoughts that no one ever sees.
Then, the passage Jason read before communion, “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar and suddenly remember someone has something against you, leave your offering before the altar and go; first be reconciled with your brother and then come and present your offering.” Mt 5:23-24 NASB
Pausing he said, “Before we take communion, we’re going to take a minute to be quiet. And as we do, ask God if there is anyone in your life that you have a broken relationship with that, He wants you to go and ask for forgiveness. If there is, maybe you could set your bread and juice on the chair beside you. Don’t take it today but do what the scripture says. Clear up the offense. Leave it this time and take it next month.”
Sure, I thought, what a great idea! Oh God, I love your word so much.
“Ok, Lord,” I said, as I started going through the motions, pretty sure I’d be putting those communion elements in my mouth shortly, I prayed, “Is there anyone in my life that I need to ask for forgiveness?”
I heard the Holy Spirit whisper two names, which happened to be the couple, in randomly choosing my seat that morning, sitting right in front of me.
Oh, crap. I thought. I mean, Thank you, Holy Spirit. I’m glad you spoke to me, but this is going to be painful. I’ll do it with your help. And I set my bread and juice on the chair beside me.
When the service ended and people were picking up their things, the couple turned around. Knowing this was the time, I said to myself, “Ok, 5, 4, 3, 2,1 … Do it!” and started the conversation.
There had been an offense a few months earlier. They were one of the first couples my husband and I had gotten to know at the church. We’d enjoyed meals at each other’s homes and warm conversation. But in the last couple of years, we’d been involved in separate areas of ministry and our paths hadn’t crossed as frequently.
A few months ago, something happened that hurt me. They weren’t even aware of it. But in my heart, I had been keeping my distance. In my private thoughts, I was not thinking the best of them. I was angry, hurt, and accusing them inwardly of bad motives. I had thought about clearing the air, asking them over for dinner, and building new fresh, good memories again. But hadn’t taken the steps to do it.
I’d even prayed that the Lord would show us how to resolve it and that He would release it from my heart.
But it hadn’t left. I was still carrying it. It wasn’t gone because, His word tells us what to do to be able to forgive and release and I hadn’t done it, yet.
At that moment when the scripture was read, and Jason instructed us to literally follow what it said, the Holy Spirit put His finger there, prompting me in what I needed to do. I knew it was Him. I could have shrugged it off. I could have picked up my bible and coffee at the end of the service, walked out the door, and told myself I could just keep praying about it instead of going through the pain of confessing it to them.
But I wouldn’t have been freed. God had something so much better.
When they turned, I made a little small talk and then told them what happened a few months earlier, that I had been harboring bitterness and negative thoughts against them and asked them to forgive me. Tears brimmed my eyes. It hurt to say it out loud.
But the pain quickly was replaced with joy. They were warm and receptive and asked how they could help. We exchanged hugs and talked about our long overdue next visit. The next month we met for dinner.
I couldn’t help but think of the abundant life God wants for his children and the verse from John 13:35, “They will know we are Christians by our love for one another.” And that God is always working to answer our prayers even if it’s through a little book and a “5, 4, 3, 2, 1”
How about you?
Is there a similar time in your life where God showed up out of the blue prompting you to do a hard thing that was painful, but in the end so, so good!
~ Lori